“It’s complicated”. The busy signal of relationship statuses. It can say anything, or nothing at all.
It says “I’m back with my ex but also over them” or “FYI I’m not completely celibate” or even “I’m parked, but could use a spot a little closer to the building”
Seems to me all relationships are complicated when you look closely enough.
But, hey, what do I know. Maybe some people can do simple relationships.
There’s one complicated relationship I think we’ve all been in- on-again-off-again, heart-wrenching, abusive yet gripping- The one with Facebook itself.
When it comes to this relationship, there aren’t other fish in the sea.
Just Zuckerberg’s fat, hungry whale.
Except you don’t catch it, nor does it catch you. You voluntarily swan dive into its gaping mouth to hang out with your friends.
Then like poor Jonah, you’re stuck inside of it. At least you’re friends are too
Facebook evangelists (that’s probably a real job title) will say it’s not mandatory. And they’re right.
Nobody forced you to sign up, much less check it 10X a day.
It’s your responsibility to lead a life more interesting than its ever changing social newsfeed.
To exercise herculean willpower, by resisting an addictive app on an addictive device.
And it’s their responsibility to outrun your willpower. To make it unpleasant and inconvenient to leave.
So they shoot heroin into your bloodstream each time you check it (slight exaggeration, but the science seems to back me here).
Each time you sign in, you pull the lever like a desperate gambler. Will you get good or bad chemicals today?
Social media has a job, and it does it well. And somehow, I think making you more social has nothing to do with it.
People knew how to be social before social media.
It’s the extroverts who dominate the virtual landscape as well. Sharing and interacting constantly. Presumably, they’re getting best of both worlds, virtual and real.
I don’t think anyone shy was made less shy by social media.
For instance, my shyness growing up was only overcome in person, with alot of work.
If I had the option of taking on an online persona, and becoming “virtually” popular, would I have bothered?
Anecdotes are pointing to todays teens being more inclined to socialize online than in person. I imagine if I was 15 in the age of social media, I would have become even more detached and confused than I was.
When you digitize all communication, does our mind treat interacting with our virtual friends the same way it treats, say, watching a TV show?
We are such group oriented creatures, that people will experience the life of a fictional character as if they were a friend, or even themselves.
If social media flattens the spectrum between real life and virtual life, with everyone broadcasting their own channel, can you tell reality from fiction?
I remember reading something interesting about American TV shows. That you never see a living room without a television set.
A message is sent that this is a basic price of admission for a dignified first world life.
Social media too has its own idea of “the good life”. It might involve vacations that are a little too frequent, a snap happy life with heaps of new faces, or sharing a trendy hashtag or meme.
We’ve crossed a threshold into a life that seems to exist to be broadcast. And if it wasn’t broadcast, it never happened.
(If it was, it could still be fake news)
Social media has a perverse twist, in that it takes things we do and like naturally as humans, and digitally molds them into something addictive, but not quite natural.
However, like many unnatural things, it has consequences. And the bill is arriving. Studies showing direct correlation between unhappiness and Facebook checking.
Are we waking up to it, or do we have to bottom out before we snap out of it?
I have great respect for friends who have deleted their social media accounts, and taken back a little more control of their lives.
It may seem like a pebble in a pond with so many people online. But the choice to keep distance from social media is an act of “microrebellion” against an elaborate, carefully designed casino.
In this day and age, to live a life separate of broadcast, something purely for YOU, is the greatest act of microrebellion.
All revolutions begin with microrebellions.